First 2 Weeks in India

Hellooo! Thanks for being persistent and checking in with us, even though there haven't been recent posts. The big news here is that we have found, signed lease and moved into our new residence!!! Yay!!! I can't tell you what a huge load off that is. Everything is just so intense here, intensely fun, intensely interesting, intensely beautiful, and intensely difficult all at the same time. Our house hunting began over a week ago when Mark and I sat down to lunch with a couple of local newspapers. Imagine looking at a paper written in a strange script, that Mark is able to decipher a little of, and me not at all, trying to find the classifieds, the rentals, and then take notes on available houses. Followed by calling on houses and having a great deal of difficulty communicating over the telephone. Finding it totally impossible to understand directions or addresses, and not knowing the town. Also add to this that people quote outrageous prices to foreigners to see if you will go for it. It is so hard to guage when someone is being tricky or pushy or what to do about it. We were at the mercy of cab drivers and landlords, having to sort out who we could and couldn't trust and so hot and exhausted trying to find the houses, view them, then eventually having to go through all the same to get furniture, and the little things that are just basic essentials, plates, trash cans, etc. Every single things takes so much effort. This is already getting easier as we become more familiar with the people and the places. Also, we have had a great deal of grace shine on us, so that nothing has been bad, and actually things seem to keep falling into place.

The house we got is amazing. It is not in the center of the city, a sacrifice we made to get a place we like and can afford. Frankly I prefer it, because where the city proper is very crowded and noisy, it is quite peaceful where we are. We have neighbors on all sides and downstairs from us, but it is more spacious and quiet than other places we looked. I will send some pictures of our place, but for now I can just describe it as being open, spacious, beautiful, and surrounded by palm trees. Our first real day at home I was able to spend a good deal of the day reading surrounded by open windows and breezes blowing through the palm trees. We also have a big balcony, and like almost all of the buildings here, there is a staircase out our back door that leads onto the roof. The roof is totally flat and made to be a place to hang out. It is cool up there with a great view of the incredible scenery, and when the monsoons end, the stars. It is the size of the whole house of course, so it is really a house in itself, though so far we haven't even a chair up there.

We stayed at the Hotel Boban Plaza, near the railway station we came in on, for over a week while we found and set up the lease on our house. In order to understand our experience there you have to understand what service is like in India. Service here is the best, not just for foreigners but for everyone. A resturaunt that would have 2 waitresses on the floor in the states has 20 people on the floor here. Sounds like people would be bumping into one another, or bugging you to fill your glass, but it isn't that way at all. It is the case, though, that you never want for anything. As soon as you have finished anything on your plate someone is coming around with a container of more to ladle in its place. You have to make it clear when you are done or more just keeps coming. Similarly, our hotel reception clerks became like our personal secretaries while we stayed there. We'd call down to have a bottle of water or a towel brought up. People were calling and stopping by to see us constantly. As soon as any taxi driver knew where we lived, he would stop by every day to see if we needed a ride or to tell us about a house he had found for rent. Further, people whos houses we had viewed would stop buy to try to convince us to stay there or to tell us about other places they knew of. If anyone got any hint of anything we wanted or needed they were stopping by to offer, and bringing along their cousin and his friend. It was wacky. Meanwhile the front desk is managing all this, calling our room to say "Ma'am, you have a visitor, would you like me to send him up?" "No, I'll come down", I'd say, or "can you please see what he wants?" or "thank you, please put him on the phone". This is just normal here. It felt like a throw back to ritzy hotels of the past, but it is just how things happen here. So, we became close with our hotel staff, and they got in on the action, too. Vinesh and his wife, whose name I still don't know, were our two closest allies at the hotel. Vinesh ended up selling us his refrigerator and dining set, and taking us around to get good prices on a bed and stove. He also arranged the moving truck and a crew of his family and friends to move us. All this works out great, because he makes a little money off of everything, but still gets us much better deals with much less hassle than we would be able to find on our own. Vinesh's wife is 6 months pregnant, and they are happily awaiting the birth of their first child. Both of them have University degrees, but because unemployment is so high here they work in the hotel for probably less than they would like to be making. They live in a nice, pleasant house with Vinesh's mother and brothers and one sister-in-law and neice who is about a year old. Their family is very, very nice, and they have invited us back to their house to celebrate the biggest holiday of the year which happens in August. We have accepted the invitation, and I hope to have them over for dinner soon, too. Our other closest friend is JoJo, a 24 year old engineer who has 2 advanced degrees in engineering beyond his bachelors. People are so, so into education here. We met JoJo when he showed us an apartment for rent which is attached to his family house. This was early in our search, and was the best place with the best price we had seen yet. After looking for a long time, we expressed interest, and finally JoJo had to admit that he had spoken with his father downstairs while we were looking and his father did not want to rent to foreigners. That was that, and so we said goodbye. It hurt Mark's feelings, and probably mine a little, too, but my reaction was more of disappointment mixed with wonder. We went home (to the hotel) to regroup, and made a huge effort to line up appointments to see several places the next day. We bit the bullet, and rented a cab for the whole day to make seeing lots of places possible, because otherwise it takes half the day just to find our way to one house. Once our appointments were set and our plans firm we went out for a late dinner. When we got back to the hotel, JoJo was waiting with his cousin. He said he had come to apologize; that he did not agree with his father but had been unable to do anything about it. He had been embarrassed, and said that his father was afraid of foreigners. It was heartbreakingly tender and sweet, and we assured him that we understood, and didn't want him to feel bad. He then said that he had spoken with his father and his father had decided he wanted us to stay there afterall. We thanked him, and told him we would call him after we had seen all the places the next day. Our luck was good that day, and so we found several places we preferred to JoJo's, including the house we finally chose. That evening, JoJo and his cousin were back at the hotel before we had a chance to call him. It was very clear that he wanted us to stay there very much and was quite curious and interested to be our friend. We told him we had selected another place. He then proceded to produce a list of amenities he and his family were ready to offer, and the list was very impressive. It included everything we needed and more, things like a scooter to get around on, internet access, a second computer, all the furniture, all this. The price would go up, but it would still be a huge savings over us having to buy these things on our own. He drove a very hard bargain. That night, we stayed up until 2 AM pondering what to do. It would be much easier to let someone else take care of this for us, because like i said, it is really difficult to figure out. It would also be cheaper, although not so much that it made the choice obvious. There were other considerations, too. If we stayed there, our early experiences had taught us, that JoJo and his family and friends would want to be closely involved in our lives. To american standards, people can be pushy and invasive, and to Indian standards we are evasive and unfriendly. People imagine we must be lonely, when really, we would love to have just a minute to ourselves, especially when we need to make a decision. In the end, we took the house we loved, but JoJo has accepted this and become a friend and guide to us, helping us with things like getting a mobile phone and explaining the complexities of using the electricity in our house, which is still somewhat of a mystery. Also, our landlord is an ally. He is an older, retired man, and he lives with his wife, daughter and grandchildren in town. He and his wife spent a good deal of time living with US citizens at a company he worked for, and so the cultural gap is easier to bridge for us. He is very kind, which is one of the reasons I like our house so much. We have visited his house as well, and when you do this, the woman always brings out snacks and tea, which I have learned to do, too for our guests. I did let Mark take care of this duty a couple of days ago while I read in the bedroom and avoided our guest. He probably seems like he has a very brazen pushy wife to some of the people here, since I am much more involved in public affairs and business dealings than any of the women I have seen here, who are mostly publicly absent from such things. But they understand we are foreign, just as we understand they are to us, and so everybody gives lots of leeway and just shrugs unusual things off as "well, I guess that's how they do it." It is very interesting guaging how to enter this totally different world. There have been, as there are bound to be, some uncomfortable moments, but mostly things have gone well. My way of dealing with it right now, is to be respectful of everyone I meet without being afraid to be myself. This is the most valuable thing I have learned so far, and something I know will be useful to me for the rest of my life.

Now we are at Kovalam beach. This is a resort beach about 12km from trivandrum. There is a bus here for 5 cents and it takes about 30 minutes to get here. It is the tourist's playground, and it really is pretty great. Now is the low season because of the monsoons, so there aren't many people here. It's a relaxing get away from the hectic city, and we have been kicking it on the beautiful black sand beach with huge waves and again lush palm trees and gorgeous rock formations. Along the beach there is a boardwalk with resturaunts and shops, and things are a little more expensive, but still the prices are good. It is still definitely India, but is adjusted a little bit for westerners, and is a nice break from the intensity everywhere else. I'm sure I will come down here from time to time for another relaxing day or two.

OK, that's it. We are getting internet access at home in a week, and then I can post pictures and finally have time to mess around and put some movies together and other fun things. Love, Asenath